My Journey as a Writer

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As a kid, reading provided all the excitement I needed in my life.  Instead of getting into the usual youthful mischief, I raided bookshelves for daily fixes of story books, poetry, and comics; squirreling away snippets of dialogue and clever phrases for later use.

My mother instilled in me at an early age the importance of literacy. She made sure there were always books around even when there was no television. And when I had devoured every book in the house, my mother marched me to the library to restock.

It wasn’t long before I began to create my own stories. They were nothing elaborate, but these stories allowed to express myself in ways I had never envisioned. Words became my escape, taking me to places that transcended the poverty, squalor, and despair that surrounded me.

In elementary school, I would spend several hours drawing pictures and plotting stories to go with them.  Although my teachers were frustrated by my short attention span, they never discouraged my writing efforts. My second grade teacher decided to cultivate my creativity by encouraging me to write a story to submit to the district-wide writing competition.  I wrote a story about a fast horse that won a race. The story was accepted and earned me first place in my grade category. I was proud of my accomplishment until my teacher made me read my story to a class of fifth-graders whose writing skills left much to be desired. Needless to say, I was not popular among the members of that class. A couple of the boys showed me how displeased they were with a few insults and several well-placed kidney punches.

After this scathing critique, I decided to abandon my literary aspirations. And I didn’t write a single story for years. It wasn’t until I entered high school that my writing fire was re-ignited. For some reason, I decided to read James Baldwin’s The Fire Next Time.  That book had a profound affect on my life. Here was a young black man experiencing the same things I was experiencing – the ravages of ghetto life exacerbated by alienation, confusion, and a feeling of hopelessness – yet he managed to pull himself out of the mire and become a successful writer despite the obstacles. I was determined to do the same.  Kidney punches or not

Since then, I have been published in several magazines, websites, journals, anthologies, and newspapers. I haven’t reached James Baldwin status, but I plan to reach that level one day.

Yet my accomplishments have made my life a little more complex. I cannot become complacent because I have to take the weight for all the kids in my old neighborhood who are chided for their literary pursuits.  I have to be a role model, a mentor, and a teacher when all I ever wanted to be was a good man and a good writer.

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The challenges of working at home

challenges of working at home

I was working in my office one night when my 12-year-old daughter came in and sat on the floor beside my desk. I continued to work until I could no longer ignore her stare.

“Hey, sweetheart,” I said. “What do you want?”

“Can you play a game with me?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said as I turned back to my computer. “But not now. Later.” My daughter sighed and got up to leave. As she walked away, I turned around to ask her what was wrong. “You always say later,” she said. “But later never happens.”

Her words cut me to the core. At that moment, I realized that I needed to figure out how to better manage my home and work life. I run my own business from my home. Although I’ve always longed for the flexibility of being my own boss, I never realized how difficult it would be.

The first thing I had to do was learn to manage my time. When I worked a traditional 9-to-5 job, the parameters were clear. I woke up at the same time every day, clocked in, did my job, and punched out. This was my schedule for 20 years. Work was work and home was home. Now the lines are blurred..Read the rest of the article at http://mommynoire.com/28466/when-your-work-lives-home/#kZ4ZKqwJz3yl3Rhk.99

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Winning on Mother’s Day

Choosing the right Mother’s Day gift isn’t always easy. One misstep could ruin the day for everyone. As a man who has had a mother for over 40 years and a wife for over 15 years, I’ve learned a few things about making Mother’s Day special. I shared some of my insight in a Google+ Hangout with my friends at Ask Men.

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Revenge of the Mommy Bloggers on HuffPost Live

mochadad on huffpost live

In my former career at a Fortune 500 company, I attended many professional development conferences. Because of the nature of the business, most of the attendees were men. We networked, learned, had fun, and nobody cared.

At some of the more popular conferences, vendors would hold elaborate parties that would draw hundreds of attendees. The booze was free, the food was plentiful, and the entertainment was top-notch. It was a nice way to blow-off some steam and enjoy some downtime with my colleagues.

In addition to the sanctioned parties, there were several unsanctioned parties. It was quite common for me to receive an invitation to a strip club or an all-night bar-hopping excursion (BTW – I always declined these). I also saw several guys’ cheating on their wives, misusing company funds, starting fights, and even getting arrested. No big deal. Boys will be boys right?

No major news organizations ran stories titled, “Dads Attend Business Conferences and Leave Their Families Behind – The Horror” or chronicled any of the boorish behavior. But when women organize and attend conferences that are focused on their interests, people become suspicious.

“The Wall Street Journal” published a  story titled, “The Mommy Business Trip: Conferences Appeal to Women With a Guilt-Free, Child-Free Reason to Leave Home.” As I read the story, I was offended by the way they characterized “Mommy Bloggers.” Not only was the portrayal condescending, but it also minimized the importance of blogging conferences (You can read this rest of the post, “In Defense of Mommy Bloggers,” on Babble).

Suffice it to say the WSJ article upset many women. I wasn’t the only one who felt compelled to write a response. Several prominent bloggers took the author to task for what they saw as an unfair portrayal of their behavior at conferences. On Tuesday, April 30, 2013, I joined a panel of these women along with the WSJ editor on HuffPost Live to discuss the controversy. Here is link to our conversation – Revenge Of The Mommy Bloggers.

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Share your thoughts – Was the outrage over the article warranted or did people overreact?

Papa Knows Best: The Proud and Often Misunderstood Multicultural Dad Bloggers

Earlier this month, I spoke on a panel at Hispanicize titled, “Papa Knows Best: The Proud and Often Misunderstood Multicultural Dad Bloggers.” My fellow panelists were Lamar Tyler from Black and Married with Kids and Juan Alanis from Juan of Words. During the panel we discussed parenting, media images of fathers, and marketing to dads and dad bloggers.

I’d like to thank my friend Sandra Fernandez for compiling these comments and photos from my talk:


Hispanicize was a great event. I learned new things, enjoyed awesome performances and met some wonderful people. I can’t wait until next year.

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I’m Speaking at Hispancize in Miami

hispanicizeLogoMom bloggers get all the press, but dad bloggers are making their voices heard in the industry. With events such as Dad2.0 Summit and the National At-Home Dads Convention, dad bloggers are using their influence to shape the conversation on parenting and purchasing.

I’ve written my fatherhood blog, Mocha Dad, since 2008, and I’m glad that our community is finally attracting notice.

On Thursday April 11, 2013, I will speak on a panel at Hispanicize. Our topic will be: Papa Knows Best: The Proud and Often Misunderstood Multicultural Dad Bloggers. The event will be held at Eden Roc Renaissance in Miami Beach, FL. If you’re in the area, please stop by and hear what I have to say about this emerging trend. I hope to see you there.

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What is your perception of Dad Bloggers?

Take your blog to the next level by attending blogging conferences

Photo from Dad2.0 Summit 2013

Photo from Dad2.0 Summit 2013

Most professions have annual conferences for their practitioners. Blogging is no different. In fact, there are dozens of blogging conferences occurring during any given year. If you’re serious about your blogging career, you must attend conferences because they allow you to network with like-minded people, build relationships, share ideas, and learn.

I’ve listed a few conferences that will occur in 2013. This list is not definitive, but it does contain conferences that I have attended or will attend. Because I blog in the parenting and multi-cultural space, the list is heavy on these types of conferences. However, anyone can attend these conferences and they offer a broad range of useful information for any blogger.

Last year, I attended three conferences. I met new friends and made contacts that helped my business to grown significantly. If you’re ready to take your blog to the next level, attending these conferences will help you to meet that goal.

Hispanicize – April 9-13, Miami, FL

Hispanicize brings brands, media, marketers, celebrities, filmmakers, innovators and bloggers together in a unique creative environment focused on ideas and best practices.  The event is a launch pad for creative endeavors, new products, technologies, marketing campaigns, films, books and more targeting Latinos.

SoFabCon - May 2-4, Bentonville, AR

SoFabCon is the blogging conference for the Collective Bias and the Social Fabric community. The conference will have sessions on SEO, photography, HTML, social media, and branding. Best of all we are taking the brands out from behind the expo booth and putting them at the table next to you so you can build relationships.

Mom2.0 Summit - May 2-4, Laguna Niguel, CA

This conference offers an open conversation between social media influencers, industry leaders, and leading brands. Meet smart people. Hear success stories. Discover what’s working. Discuss ways to create smarter creative content, impactful web-based marketing, as well as new programs, people, and platforms that engage your audience and build relationships.

Blogging While Brown – June 21-22, New York, NY

Since its launch in 2008, Blogging While Brown has grown to become the premier blogging conference dedicated to education, collaboration, and innovation among bloggers of color. The conference brings social media experts, speakers, and independent content creators together to educate, inspire, and expand their influence in social media and technology.

BlogHer – July 25-27, Chicago, IL

In 2005, BlogHer Co-founders Elisa Camahort Page, Jory Des Jardins and Lisa Stone held a conference to answer the question, “where are all the women who blog?” Today, BlogHer conferences bring together thousands of these women from around the world to discuss, inspire and connect with each other.

The Niche Parent - September 5-7, Ft. Lauderdale Beach, FL

The Niche Parent Conference is for social media influencers who embrace diversity and multiculturalism. The conference will offer attendees empowering keynote addresses and continuing education in branding, business, relationship building, and content development.

Latism - September 19-21, New York, NY

Latism is the premier conference for Latinos in social media. The conference will focus on multi-cultural marketing, politics, social media, businesses, and technology.

Blog Elevated – September 19-21, Houston, TX

Blog Elevated is here to help you take your blog to the next level. Created by the founders of HoustonBloggers and #TXBloggers, we’re going to give you the skills to turn your blog into a business. We’ll equip you with the training you need to become a professional blogger.

Type-A-Parent - September 27-29, Atlanta, GA

Type-A Parent Conference is the world’s top conference for mom and dad bloggers. The conference has a well-established reputation for outstanding learning with actionable takeaways. It features power networking with the best and brightest parents who blog plus the major brands and firms who want to engage them. Type-A is where the power parents grow their business and connect.

Blogalicious – October 3-5, Atlanta, GA

The annual Blogalicious Weekend is the go-to destination for influential multicultural women social media enthusiasts from all over the world to collaborate, connect and uplift one another. Blogalicious Weekend is not just a conference; its a celebration.

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Please share any other conferences you may know about.

Success Interview: Peter Ramsey, Feature Film Director

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As a child, Peter Ramsey loved animation and movies. With his family’s encouragement, he started creating his own masterpieces when he was 3-years old.

“My parents taught me to think for myself and not to set limits on what I could do,” Ramsey said. “They were really good about supporting us in whatever we were interested in.”

Through years of study, practice, and dedication Ramsey began his career as a storyboard artist. He honed his talents while working on live action feature films such as “Minority Report,” “A.I. Artificial Intelligence,” “Cast Away”, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” “Fight Club,” “Men in Black,” “Independence Day,” and “Batman Forever.”

While working on these films, Ramsey realized that he wanted to be a director. He served as Second Unit Director on live action feature films including “Godzilla,” “Tank Girl,” “Higher Learning,” and “Poetic Justice.” After directing the hit DreamWorks Halloween special, “Monsters vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space,”  Ramsey got his big break – he was offered the opportunity to direct his first feature film Rise of the Guardians(available on Blu-ray and DVD)

In this interview, Ramsey shared his thoughts on creativity, art, and the importance of hard work.

Goodall: How do you nurture your creativity?

Peter Ramsey: I’ve always been a big reader, and I’ve spent a lot of time studying art, films and filmmakers, so I feel like I have a huge amount of inspiration to draw from.  I also have a lot of creative friends that I share ideas with. I also keep a journal…sort of. It allows me to get some perspective and clarity on the stuff rattling around in my head. I do it as often as I can.

Goodall: Many people believe they aren’t creative. How can they draw out their inner artist?

Ramsey: They have to get over the fear of criticism, especially from themselves, and realize that you can do anything if you just stick to it.  It may take time and effort, but so does anything worth doing. Not giving up is the key to success.

Goodall: Who were some of your mentors? How did they impact your life?

Ramsey: I’d have to count my parents of course. They taught me to think for myself and not to set limits on what I could do. I had several really influential teachers in school. In my professional life, I’ve had a few unofficial mentors – Todd Hallowell and Francis Ford Coppola to name two. Virtually every good director I’ve worked for has felt like a mentor to me.

Goodall: How do you define success?

Ramsey: Success is being able to live a decent life while doing work that you truly enjoy and has meaning to you.

Goodall: What motivates you to keep going when things are difficult?

Ramsey: I try to think of how lucky I’ve been, and of how much harder others have had it. I also remind myself that the biggest steps I’ve taken happened because I had something in me that I and others believed in. Therefore, I keep believing that I can move forward.

Goodall: What is your greatest achievement?

Ramsey: My family and my kids. They’re fantastic.

Read more about Ramsey on my blog at Babble.

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Sometimes you have to wear a dress to motivate employees

dress dress motivationMany managers struggle with how to motivate employees. The problem is that people are different and what motivates one person may not motivate another. I’ve discovered that if you listen closely, people will tell you how they’d like to be motivated.

One morning, while reading the newspaper, I saw an article about our local food bank needing emergency donations. I wanted to do something to help and decided to make it a community service project for my employees.

The next day, I gathered everyone into our warehouse and challenged them to collect 500 pounds of food.

“What do we get if we do it?” Asked one employee.

“You get the satisfaction of helping others,” I said.

“Will you wear a dress if you we meet the goal?” Asked one employee. I heard snickering in the audience and I was a bit frustrated by this exchange.

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“I’m serious as a heart attack,” he said. “I would have asked you to shave your head, but it’s too late for that.” This time the laughter was more pronounced.

Without thinking, I blurted out, “Yes, I will wear a dress.” The audience grew quiet. I guess they didn’t think I would call their bluff.

“Really?” said the employee who issued the challenge.

“I will do it,” I said. “But you have to bring in twice as much food. Make it 1000 pounds and we have a deal.”

After some discussions among themselves, the employees agreed.

I went back to my office and questioned the wisdom of my impulsive decision. In the back of my mind, I was hoping that they would fall short of the goal. We’d still collect some items for the food bank and I wouldn’t have to wear a dress. Win/Win!

To my surprise, my challenge motivated the team beyond my expectations. I knew I was in trouble when one employee drove into the parking lot with his pickup truck filled with canned goods. Soon more pickup trucks filled with food arrived in the parking lot. We have to clear out space in the warehouse to store the donations.

Although I wasn’t keen on wearing a dress, I was pleased with the atmosphere that my challenge created. Employees were having more fun, collaborating, and being more productive. It’s funny how a common goal can bring people together.

On the last day of the challenge, I gathered the employees in the warehouse again. This time, I entered wearing a blue, floral print dress. The employees cheered and yelled my name. I was a little embarrassed, but I was proud of my team for surpassing our goal. In fact, we had to rent a large U-haul truck to carry all the items to the Food Bank. It was one of the largest single donations they received that year.

I could have easily disregarded the employee’s suggestion to wear a dress. If I had, I would have missed a huge opportunity to improve employee morale, motivate my team, and make a difference in the community.

You may not have to wear a dress to motivate your employees, but you have to do something. Give compliments, listen to their ideas, include them in the decision-making process. These small steps can have a huge impact on your employees and motivate them to do incredible things.

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How do you keep your employees motivated?

 

 

Is your brand making a memorable impression on your customers?

When I attend blogging conferences, I carry a stack of business cards to hand out to potential clients. Not only do I want share my contact information, but I also want to leave a memorable impression on everyone I meet.

I love to see the smile on people’s faces when they read my card.

mochadad business card

“Disco dancer?” They always ask.

“Yes,” I reply. “It’s one of the many services I offer.” I then ask them read the back of the card.

mochadad business card back

After seeing this image, they usually burst into fits of laughter and show the card to someone standing nearby. This “social proof” allows me to meet someone new and give them a business card too.

“Is that you?” They ask.

I explain that is a Photoshopped image of my head on John Travolta’s body. Next I ask them to scan the QR code. They usually pull out their phone and comply. Another smile comes across their faces as the disco music starts to play on their phone.

After this card exchange, we usually spend several minutes getting to know each other and making plans to follow-up later. This business card has opened up several business opportunities for me because I was willing to do something to stand out.

My business cards let my customers know that I’m serious about writing and speaking on fatherhood, but I also have a sense of humor and don’t take myself too seriously.

I urge all entrepreneurs to be creative with your branding. What makes you special? Why should people use your services? How can you delight your customers in ways that no one else can? Consider these questions when designing your branding messages. If you don’t make your brand stand out, potential customers may overlook you and you’ll miss opportunities because you failed to make a memorable impression.

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How do you make your brand memorable?